kkk999119 发表于 2017-2-24 00:32   全显示 1楼
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原帖由 乌贼 于 2017-2-24 00:02 发表
感觉作者这一章写的有点仓促，断句不太流畅，很多句子不如以前雕琢了，标点符号干脆都用逗号，有些该用顿号、句号的的都省事用逗号了，读起来不好，转折词用得多了，口语化的文字也多了。
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乌贼大大好仔细啊，自然是言之有理。不过作者兴之所至，也难得顾忌这般细节处，留待以后再润色也无妨。情节越发激烈了，日夜等刷。
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  • 時未寒 金币 +2 认真回复，奖励！ 2017-2-24 01:47
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